What is it about Elvis? I can’t seem to get away from him. Okay, I’m just kidding, but I have to say I was surprised when I visited Fort Smith AR that his name came up. Right after I arrived, someone said we should check out the barber shop where Elvis got his first Army haircut. Come to think of it, I remember all the hoopla when Elvis was drafted. Even back East, we were hearing about it.

Anyway, when we got to Fort Chaffee, the darned barber shop was closed. It didn’t matter, though, because I really had a great time in Fort Smith. It’s way west in Arkansas, just before you hit the border with Oklahoma.

Someone at ACBL Headquarters said the bridge players in Arkansas were among the friendliest I would meet (one of them even took his new bride for their honeymoon at the Fort Smith Regional many years ago), and they were right.

The day I arrived, it was a lovely, cool fall day when the leaves were at their peak colors of god, red, rust and orange. The fall colors in New England have nothing on western Arkansas. I can see why people like to live there.

My hostess was Joann Humphrey, who teaches bridge, directs and just generally promotes the game. I especially liked her efforts to get people to join the ACBL.

At Joann’s club, they always have lots to eat. It’s a miracle I still fit in my clothes after hanging out in Fort Smith for about a week.

Joann runs the Fort Smith Duplicate Bridge Club, where I spent a lot of my time during the visit. One Monday, Joann ran a game for a charity that the club supports. It’s called Bost Inc. They help people with disabilities. It was a 10-table game, and players were asked to come up with an extra $1 for the special game, but the final take was $260. I was impressed with their giving spirit.

Everyone was really nice to me at the club, and because it was the week leading up to Halloween, I got to pose with a jack-o-lantern and a black cat at the club.

The bridge players really got into the Halloween spirit. Some players were decked out in costumes for Halloween. In the photo below, you can see Sally and Elvin Frick with Drs. Sam and Annette Landrum, a “policewoman” and “jailbird.” I think the policewoman thought I had been kidnapped (they should have been in DC when I was hijacked, although as you may have read, it wasn’t all that traumatic for me). Actually I was just having a good time trying to decide what to eat.

One afternoon I visited the Fort Smith Museum of History. This gave me a close look at everyday life more than 100 years ago. I learned that there were 86 federal executions that occurred in Fort Smith between 1873 and 1896. Judge Parker was known as “The Hanging Judge.” I got to see the original courtroom just as it was in the 1800s. I pictured myself with the gavel pronouncing sentence on anyone who violates the Zero Tolerance rules, but maybe I should just use it to conk them on the head. Too bad, though . . . they wouldn’t let me take it with me.

Before I left the museum, I had to stop in at the old-fashioned soda fountain and pharmacy. That really brought back memories of the days when every drug store had a soda fountain and a soda “jerk,” the guy who made your milkshakes and malts. That root beer float was a real treat.

One day they took me to the Janet Huckabee Arkansas River Valley Nature Center, once part of Fort Chaffee. It now occupies about 170 acres. The main building overlooks Wells Lake and I watched Canadian geese swimming around. A large window in the Wildlife Watching Area was a place to sit and relax and view a variety of native birds at the feeders and in the trees. Squirrels were cleaning up the seeds that birds had dropped. There were many models of forest animals around an enormous oak tree and I viewed several live animals as well.

This deer greeted me at the entrance and kept an eye on me when I sat on his back.

The last stop for me before I departed was to visit a nursing home, where I was introduced to Erna Krone, who taught bridge and directed games for many years in Fort Smith. She was delightful, and I learned from talking to her that she is still teaching at the retirement home. You just can’t keep a bridge lover down.

I hated to leave Fort Smith, but I’m wanted elsewhere in ACBL land. I tell you, it’s hard to keep all these trips straight sometimes. Still, it has been a lot of fun traveling the country and meeting so many bridge lovers, not to mention all the good-looking women. If only I was a bit taller . . .

In my time “away” from bridge and other things, I was lucky enough to spend time in some beautiful parts of the world. I found the Italian Riviera, for example, to be absolutely breathtaking in spots.

I was not prepared, however, for what I found after I left sultry Atlanta.

As you may know, I headed right for Hawaii – and I was completely blown away. That place is paradise, I tell you: blue water everywhere you look; beautiful, friendly people, plus a climate to die for.

Just listen to me – blown away and to die for are phrases you never heard anyone say in the “old days,” but I have decided that maybe those days weren’t as “good” as we remember. I don’t know who said it, but I like the quote: “If you’re yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning.”

Not that it’s germane to the topic, but I can tell you that most people in Hawaii don’t even need A/C. They don’t have “good old days” in Hawaii. Today’s days are just like yesterday’s – great!

It takes a long time to get from Atlanta to Hawaii – I was pretty groggy by the time the plane landed – but it’s worth the trip.

I spent the first weekend in Kaneohe, part of Oahu, which also includes Honolulu.

I love the names you hear all around the islands. I found out that Kaneohe means “Bamboo Man.” In fact, just about every place you go has a name that means something poetic or historic or colorful. I learned about a former king of another area I visited, called Kailua (“two seas”). The king’s name was Kauakahiakahoowaha. I didn’t dare to ask what that means. What do you reckon his friends called him?

Anyway, I stayed with Bev and Arnie Drill in Kaneohe and had papaya for breakfast one day. They were very hospitable.

Bev and Arnie Drill shared their home with me.

Everywhere I went, there was a spectacular view of something, mostly the Pacific Ocean, I guess. You can get an eyeful anywhere, it seems. I was stunned by the Ho’omaluhia Botanical Garden, for example.

I did manage some bridge while I was in Hawaii, specifically the Unit 470 Sectional in Honolulu. Our 50th state has a lively and competitive bridge community, I can tell you.

After that, I stopped by the Kailua Bridge Club and had a chance to meet the owner, Edith Neff. She was just like the other Hawaiians I met – very charming. The club is very nice, and everyone made me feel welcome.

Oops, I’m late for my bridge game. I’ll have to post more about my trip to Hawaii later, so, check back soon!

That’s me at the Kailua Bridge Club.

Okay, now – back to my tour of the city.

Not far away from the aquarium is the home of Coca Cola. I guess I had forgotten that headquarters for the world’s most famous drink are right there in Atlanta.

The people at Coke were very friendly, especially the tour guides.

I was hoping to leave the Coca-Cola plant with one of those great-looking red shirts, but they didn’t have them in super-extra-extra small.

There’s a big benefit, I guess, to being my size. Lots of people think I’m cute (nudge-nudge, wink-wink), and I’m trying not to spoil that image. Hey, it’s gotten me into lots of places so far, and I like the attention. Bridge people seem to have a lot more fun than they did when I was playing “seriously.”

Don’t you just love that big chicken at the KFC in Marietta? I bet the Atlanta area has the only restaurant that looks like that.

I had a great time at The Varsity, an 80-year-old restaurant in Atlanta they call the “Lunching Pad.” I liked the No. 1 Combo at the Varsity – two chili dogs, onion rings and a Coca Cola – but I did have to beg for some Rolaids later on.

There were more stops, including the Fox Theatre and CNN Headquarters. What an eye-opener! I can remember when there wasn’t any television anywhere.

They told me I had to rest up for the Atlanta Sectional Tournament, so I took it easy for a while. One thing about those chili dogs, though – they stay with you.

Yessir – that’s a lot of food. Now you know why I left Atlanta looking to let out the pants. It was worth it, though. Yummy!

Before departing Atlanta, I must say that bridge in the area is so much more than brick and mortar clubs, or even the one-day-a-week clubs that rent space. What I observed were people who love bridge – especially the directors and managers –working as hard as they can to get other people involved, assisted by players with an inspiring devotion to the game and a willingness to welcome new people. That is one element of bridge that hasn’t changed during my time away.

People who knew me in my heyday might thing I’m getting all soft and “mushy” about this, but my travels have been an eye-opener for me. I can’t wait for the next stop.

Thanks for everything, Dan, and Atlanta bridge!  For more photos of me in Atlanta, have a look at the photo gallery below.